Living With Hikaris
by Haku Ishatar
Summary: (Rated for some language) Need Help with your respective other? Wantto find out how to get the best relaionship with that little being of light? Consult this helpful manual!
1. Chapter 1

Haku: ^_^ I never expected to get such a response to this fic! -passes out at all the reviews-

Y. Haku: Erm... -pokepoke- Erm... I think she's broken...

Mokuba: Nup, just passed out. ^_^

Y. Haku: That's bad but, right?

Mokey: Nup, it means I am free to take over the WORLD! -cough- I mean disclaim the fic.

Haku: Oh no you don't. -pounces- First we do the review replies, then the disclaimer.

Mokey: Then take over the world?

Haku: Okay then. But replies, disclaimer and fic first.

REVIEW REPLIES:

Paladin Dragoon- Yup, you're right there, but not in the way you think. Seeing as this whole thing is basically one big send-up of everything, it's gonna pretty much make a mockery of Yaoi and Yuri writers. Which means, quite Ironically, I'm making fun of myself.

Y. Haku: she does that a lot. 

Mokey: Yup, my favourite is when she screams I SUCK!!! Just after she makes a big mistake.

flowacat- Everyone seems to want me to do living w/ Yamis... But I'm glad I could help you out Y. Flowa!

Lord Fluffy's Rin- Because of the response I'm getting, I probably will write Living w/ Yamis... but I have to finish this one first. Ideas keep popping into my head for both at the randomest moments...

Dagger5- I'm glad you think it makes up for the discontinuation, and this one is so much fun to write, simply because I make a mockery of everything I hold dear. And just for the record, Malik's the best, then Yugi and Yami, then MOKEY!!!!

Mokey: What, I'm only third am I? We'll se about that! -huffs, runs off then comes back with all three blue Eyes cards.- You wantey?

Haku: -snatch- Okay, now Mokey's the best! ^_^

I luv Kai- Every Sunday on the dot! ^_^

Female-Yami/Yugi- Eeepers... I see you have some serious problems with your Yami. here, borrow my kitten for a little while, she'll fix 'em right up.

Mittens: Hello, I am Mittens, the kitten from Hell.

Haku: The Living w/ Yamis is going to be done after I've finished this one, so Mittens will *hopefully* hold the fort until then...

Raven- Y. Haku: I resent that, I am not a mortal!

Haku: -coughs politely- I will update soon, and here, for your Hikari. -Hands Licreta some Ritalin-

Inu-Ice-Dragon- I'll get on to writing Living w/ Yamis as soon as I've finished this.

kaibascutie- Yuppers, you got it. every chapter is a new update... 

Y. Haku; also, your advice has been noticed. We'll review the rating after this chapter. If it gets worse, it'll go up, if it gets better, it'll stay the same.

Random Thoughts- I'm glad you like it! I will, judging by the amount of poor Hikaris who want me to, write Living w/ Yamis.

SilentShadow007- ^_^ Thanks for the comments, it isn't _that_ good, is it? 

Requiem of Spirit- Thanks for the review, and I'm updating now aren't I? 

DISCLAIMER:

Mokey: NOW is it time to do the Disclaimer?

Haku: Yup! Take it away Mokey!

Mokey: ^_^ Haku doesn't own Yu-Gi-Oh! Think about it, would you really want someone with HER mind owning Yu-Gi-Oh!?

~*~*~*~

Living with Hikaris

Chapter 1: Your Hikari

~*~*~*~

Hikari (hee-karr-ee- Well, that's how WE say it.): Noun, Japanese for 'light'. Name used to refer to the sugar-high, happy-go-lucky 'other' that all unfortunate Yamis have.

So, You went through the process of becoming a Yami, did you? You sealed your spirit off from everything for 3000-5000 (Depending on whether you are 'subbed' or 'dubbed') years, with no thought whatsoever of what it could do to your thought process. Then, after sleeping for a couple of centuries, a cute little innocent being wakes you up quite forcefully, and you find yourself sharing residence within his mind, in your 'soul-room.' Quite rude of the little bugger really... but that's not the point.

In all honesty, was this really the person that you wanted to spend the rest of your life with? we interviewed a certain Yami, called, funnily enough, Yami on the matter.

"Well, really, my Aibou didn't know I existed until about a month ago, when he tried to stop me winning a duel... therefore putting my king of games title on the line. Dammit, I mean, no-one likes Seto Kaiba anyway, what does it matter if the resulting shockwave from a blast sends him spiralling off the edge of a castle wall, placed upon a top cliff, surrounded by thorny scrub..." he proceeded to rant on about what a pig-headed idiot one 'Seto Kaiba' is after this, so we were forced to interview one of our other two Yamis instead. This one was a little more co-operative.

"Well, really, I couldn't care less about my Hikari. He's more of a hindrance than anything." Says the snowy haired teen, with those alluringly soft brown eyes and... Okay, time to get back on track. "Ryou really was just there for an anchor into the physical plain for me, meaning that no matter how many times a certain spiky-haired Pharaoh sent me to a certain realm of shadows, I would always be able to return. Really, the sugar highs aren't so bad once you get used to them, or you could always beat him into submission if he got too hard to handle." The makers of Living with Hikaris would like to say that the opinions of beating Hikaris are not that of the management, and if you do, you could go up against the Royal society of Protection of Cruelty of Hikaris. In the words of one soon to be famous dude that no one can remember, 

"Ohhh Bakura... you in big Doo-doo this time."

But anyways... simple lesson that all Yamis must learn. There is a simple rule that prevents your Hikaris from any harm. It is called...

**THE PUPPY DOG LOOK**

The process of one Hikari, causing their eyes to swell to nearly twice their size. Here, we have brought in a Hikari to show what the look looks like exactly. Our spiky haired midget here is probably a master of this look. Watch now as his large amethyst eyes become even bigger to accommodate this look. His bottom lip quivers slightly, and the 'light-patches' in his eyes become large and wobbly. In extreme cases of this look, the eyes will fill with a saline (salt, for all you non-geniuses) solution that will threaten to spill over the eyes. There is no known defence for this look. Except maybe turning your head during it's early stages.

This look has been known to be the downfall of many a strong Yami. Our resident Psychotic, spiked haired wonder relates.

"Usually, I don't care for anyone, but in that moment, that death defying terrible moment when his eyes welled up with tears, I knew all was lost. I don't know what came over me, I couldn't defend against it, it was almost as if he took something from me. It was scary, and I couldn't resist. In that moment, nothing else mattered, except doing what my Hikari wanted so he wouldn't look so DAMN miserable." Fun, isn't it?

Now, basically, the Hikari falls under two categories, the small, disgustingly cute 'chibi' who craves love and attention, yet is totally helpless in the face of danger (The bully-magnet) Or, the small, disgustingly cute 'chibi' who craves love and attention, yet is totally helpless in the face of danger, and has faced numerous hardships early in his life, turning him into a twisted nutcase. (The asylum-escapee) Naturally, these two categories will both need to be analysed separately. First of all, the Bully Magnet.

Small, and often fragile, the Bully Magnet tends to well... be a bully magnet. You will find yourself continually needing to protect this type of host from stronger people, lest he will get hurt and your temporary mortality will be jeopardised. You also have to know that the bully-magnet might be able to find himself a few good 'friends'. These friends may include a violent idiot with bad hair, a friendship harpy, and a scroungy mongrel, but hell, they'll be good friends for him/her so let them be, unless said Friendship Harpy tries to hit on you, then be afraid... be very afraid.

Now, for the Asylum Escapee. This escapee is a completely different case altogether, and is probably the reason you're even around in the first place. Don't be surprised, if the Escapee seems a little mad, for in all essence, he is. Completely and utterly twisted. He will most likely try to take over the world, in the name of some unknown cause, and then, when the going gets really tough, his protector will step in. This 'protector' is usually a man by the name of Rishid (Or Rashid) but in some cases, they may be called Odion. The later is true, if your Hikari is of the 'dub' variety. The Escapee may have had a tragic past. Talk to him about it, you may discover that they lived underground for the first six years of their life, until a terrible accident, in which you were born, they went spiralling over the edge, and somehow their father ended up dead. Whoops...

Whether your Hikari is of the Bully magnet variety, or the Asylum escapee variety, both with have an uncanny affliction with sugar. If a Hikari goes anywhere near a pile of the glowing white mass, and accidentally should ingest some, it may start moving faster than normal, what little common sense it had will fly out the window, its naturally high voice will proceed to rise an octave, and it will virtually be uncontrollable. Be scared, your Hikari is now on a 'sugar-rush'. This strange sensation happens whenever a Hikari ingests a sweet substance that comes from the sugar-cane, or somewhere else that they refine this white-gold. A similar effect happens when the Hikari ingests Coke, Coffee, or any other caffeinated substance. there is no known cure for the rush, the best thing to do is to wait for the Hikari's natural defence mechanism to kick in, and the 'pancreas' will pump 'insulin' into the 'blood-stream' neutralising the sugar. But what now? Your Hikari just passed out on the carpet? No need to worry, that's just the 'sugar-crash' settling in. He'll be better in the morning.

In summary, your Hikari is a strange being, and he is different to anything you have encountered before. He is an unnaturally weak (Well, was until you came along) Subdivision of the human race. He tends to be the type a fan-girl (or boy) will squeal "KAWAII!!!!" over, and he may find himself continually 'glomped' by such beings. If such a case arises, do not be afraid, they won't hurt him, unless they are of the Rabid variety. A good way to tell the difference, is while a fangirl would say, "KAWAII! OHMYGOD! I LOVE HIM!!!!"   
A rabid Fangirl would say, (Haku: See the Author's note at the bottom.) "OMGOMGOMGOMG!!!111!!!11 U R SOOO K4W411! I LUV3 U SO MUCH!!" Can you tell the difference? If perhaps, you should come in contact with the second variety, run, leave the state, and never look back, because these 'rabid' varieties tend to develop an unnessecary fetish towards you and/or your hikari, One that's quite simalar to the Author's blood fetish, and they may develop unnatural habits such as stalking or, making shrines for you in their closets.

In short, The best way for a happy and healthy relationship with your hikari is to make sweet and passionate love to their mortal souls. 

...

...

...

...

Sorry, that's not the best way. The best way is to keep them away from sugar and caffiene, make sure they have at least 3 friends, one arch rival (Who's just for your entertainment purposes really, but let him dream...) and interaction with at least 2 other Hikaris and/or yamis, and protect them from any bullies that will come their way. This is closely followed by the above stated solution.

~*~*~*~

HAKU'S NOTE: The author of this fics means no offence to 1337 speaking individuals, but she will not pass up an opportunity to make a mockery of something, that when forced to read it, she reverts to a Jamaican accent for the next week. (No offence to Jamaicans either, it just happens.) So in short, the author has no patience for such people, and struggles for about 3 hours to make sense of one sentence. This is merely her opinion, and she apologises for calling such people 'Rabid Fangirls (Or boys as the case might differ)' Please don't sue!!!

Haku: So there you have it, chapter 1 down.... so many more chapters to go...

Mokey: Can I take over the world now?

Haku: Knock yourself out.

Mokey: Okay! -hits himself over the head with a frypan- ugghhh... nightnight. -collapses-

Haku; IT WAS A FIGURE OF SPEECH!

Y. Haku; He can't hear you... ahh well... Read and Review?


	2. Chapter 2

Haku: Well, here we are, Chapter three up and running, a week behind schedule.

Mokuba: Though you do have a reason for it, don't you?

Haku: I was in Melbourne for the past week! Jeesh! Give me a break!

Mokuba: Okay, give me your arm.

Y. Haku: Damn, Mr. literal over there...

REVIEW REPLIES:

(Haku: Hehehe! Look at me play with bold!)

**flowacat**: Erm... flowa, did your Yami take her medication this morning? I think I made her paranoid...

**Dagger5**: lol. Writing this fic is actually a lot of fun, and I'm just glad everyone's enjoying it! Tell your Yami off for me Okay?

**Paladin Dragoon**: Poor Yugi is a bully magnet isn't he? I'm glad you're enjoying it, and the way I described them in this fic, was the way I described them to my friend one day. 

Y. Haku: The conversation went "Do you feel sorry for Yugi?" "Why?" "Well, look at what he's got for friends." "What, you mean the friendship harpy and the idiot with bad hair?" And then they added the "worthless dog" in.

**CelestialStar6**: Threats disregarded! (Oh, and I'm not afraid of Rabid cats, not with Mittens, the kitten from hell around. Now where did she get to...)

**Bunny Meatball**: MORE THAN ONE YAMI????? You poor, poor creature! Hell, One's bad enough!

Y. Haku: I heard that.

**Bunny Meatball**: ^_^ I'm glad you think so!

**I luv Kai**: Oh dear, you appear to have passed out... -leaves a note on your chest, saying: "I'm glad you think so, and tell your Yami that wasn't very nice."

**Silver from:Rae and Silver**: I guess that in this case, the self help would apply to the Darker half about the lighter half... -puzzlement-

DISCLAIMER:

Haku: It's a SELF HELP FIC! Not a WE OWN YU-GI-OH! FIC! NO OWN, NO SUE!!!

~~~

Chapter two: Are you too aggressive with your Hikari? A questionnaire.

~~~

This chapter is a questionnaire filled with about 20 odd (Give or take, depending on how lazy the authors are) Designed to help you figure out whether you are too aggressive with your Hikari or not. They are mostly (if not all) Yes or no questions, and, you will notice we have left space for you to circle the answers.

On to the questions!

1. Do you ever hurt your Hikari intentionally?

Yes/No.

2. Do you try to keep them away from one, or more of the following:

Sugar, coke, friends, Cute, fluffy animals.

Yes/No.

3. Do you enjoy watching your Hikari struggle with/through the following:

Large Alligators, Episodes of Jerry Springer, Those old socks you found in your soul room that haven't been cleaned in centuries and have the beginnings of life forming on them, Blood, guts and all that other icky stuff?

Yes/No.

4. Does your night-time routine involve you telling your Hikari to "Hurry the fuck up with dinner already?"

Yes/No.

5. Have you been sent to the shadow Realm more than once?

Yes/No.

6. Do you harm your host body "Just for the hell of it?"

Yes/No.

7. Have you sent your Hikari to the shadow realm because He/she got in your way?

Yes/No.

8. Are you mentally unstable?

Yes/No.

9. Does your voice sound slightly homicidal, or twisted in any way?

Yes/No.

10. Is your soul room filled with implements of torture?

Yes/No.

11. And do you drag your Hikari into your soul room kicking and screaming when they displease you?

Yes/No.

12. Have you called your host Landlord, or Mortal at any time?

Yes/No.

13. Is it a 'fun past time' of yours thinking up ways to hurt your Hikari's friends, no matter haw puny they are?

Yes/No.

14. Have you tortured your Hikari more than once in the past week?

Yes/No.

15. Have you taken pleasure in said torturings?

Yes/No.

16. Are the authors running out of ideas for questions?

Yes/No.

17. No, seriously?

Yes/No.

18. Have you ever been in front of the Royal society of Prevention of cruelty to Hikaris (RSPCH)?

Yes/No.

19. If yes, were you convicted guilty?

Yes/No.

20. Would you say your Hikari was upset at you?

Yes/No.

21. By that we mean, does he/she flinch if they look at you?

Yes/No.

22. Hey lookey! 22 questions!

Yes/No/Huh?

23. Have you ever sealed your Hikari's soul away in their favourite duelling card?

Yes/No.

24. Is that enough questions?

Yes/No.

25. Do you want to send the authors of this book to the shadow realm?

(We'd rather you not answer this question...) Yes/No.

RESULTS:

So there were 25 questions, and lets see... how many did you answer 'Yes' to?

0-4 questions- Yes! You are a perfect Yami! Don't change a single thing. in fact, this result leaves us wondering why you took the test in the first place. If you and your Hikari get on so well, why did you buy the book? Try to cut back on the paranoia okay?

5-9 questions- If one of these questions was the last one, then we perfectly understand. You are an exemplary Yami, though you might want to watch a little what you say or do around your Hikari. Everyone is prone to the occasional slip-up, but try to work a little harder.

10-14 questions- You have a long way to go, but you're getting there. seek some counselling with your Hikari, to try to rectify any problems you might have, and if all else fails, try the much favoured 'shag' technique!

15-19 questions- Eep! You're rather on the rough side don't you think? Seek some professional help before you get put up in front of the RSPCH board. Is it possible that this hostility is just your way of hiding deeper feelings? Search your soul, and if all else fails, don't sue the Author!

20-25 questions- Most likely you are taking this test because the RSPCH board ordered you to. f so, SHAME on you, and I hope you get a long sentence in the shadow realm!

~~~

Haku: That was a reasonably short chapter...

Mokuba: Yes... yes... yes... yes... yes... yes... yes... yes...

Haku: -starts edging away from Mokuba and towards Y. Haku-

Y. Haku: Yes... yes... yes... yes... yes... yes... yes... yes...

Haku: Eep! -hides-

Y. Haku: Hehehe... Tricked her. Read and Review everyone!


	3. Chapter 3

Y. Haku: Wake me up

Haku: Wake me up inside

Y. Haku: I can't wake up..

Haku: Wake me Up in... Oh. There's people here...

Haku: Hello everyone... How are we all? Ready for a new chapter of Living with?

Y. Haku: To bad if you're not, because you're getting one.

Haku: That wasn't very nice... ahh well...

REVIEW REPLIES:

**Blaquerose**- Me? Smoke? -is ashamed someone would think that.-

Y. Haku: Wow! 16 yes... Hell... That's worse than me...

**ryf**- lol. I'm glad you like it. 

**JenniChan**- ROFLMFAO!!!

Y. Haku: YAAAH! FEAR!!! SHE'S GONE L33T

Haku: Wait, you EXPECT me to type out Rolling on the floor, laughing my freaking ass off? Thanks for the review!

**crazyrabidfangurl01**- Oh dear, you're not a REAL crazy rabid fangirl are you?

**crazyrabidfangurl01**- Of legolas? then that's all right. Thanks for the review!

**crazyrabidfangurl01**- ^_^ I'm glad you like.

**Jia-BlackHoleSun**- Be grateful you don't have a Yami. They're annoying to al hell and back.

Y. Haku: I heard that.

**Sour Schuyler Offline**- I'm glad You like, and I'm continuing now!

**Rae and Silver**- It's not that good... is it? Anyways, I'm glad you like it!

**flowacat**- -Watches- O.o

Y. Haku and Mokuba: O.o

Mittens: -just to be different- o.O

**Paladin Dragoon- **Oh dear, what have I done? -watches her reviewers and their Yamis bouncing around the room.-

Haku: Actually, if you'll believe it, the test was designed for the Ryou/Bakura relationship, with a few Malik/Mariku questions in there.

**Silver Dragon, Iron Claws**- Well then, this isn't a very good chapter for you guys... It's all about taking the piss out of Yaoi and Yrui writers. So there's a lot of -coughinnuendocough- in it.

DISCLAIMER:

Okay, I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh, or the song Bring me to life by Evanescence, which wasn't actually used in the fic, but in the A/n... 

~~~

Chapter 3.

The funny feelings inside you

~~~

Okay, maybe, just maybe you bought this book because you thought that it could help you with your feelings towards your Hikari, but judging by the poor quality that you should have come to expect from this book, you are expecting nothing that can help you in this chapter, right? We thought so.

But you will find that this is the most useful chapter in the book, for we have found that even those who DON'T feel for their Hikari will be madly in love with them by the end of this chapter. Scary thought, right? That would be why this chapter of this book is banned in several countries around the world. 

First of all, what do you feel inside when you look at your Hikari? Does your stomach do a variety of acrobatic somersaults? Do you feel heat creeping into your cheeks? If yes, then you are madly in love.

If no, you are madly in love and just denying it every step of the way. This is what we call the 'Male' syndrome. Simple reason? because all males suffer it and can not admit that they have feelings. It happens in some females as well, but is mostly associated with the males of the species.

Now that you know you are madly in love with that Hikari of yours, let's analyse why.

One. Well, obviously, seeing as you were so close, you'd either love each other, or hate each other and have killed yourselves by now. You talk to each other's MINDS for christsake! You live in the same head, albeit through one of those mysterious items that we're all so fond of. No one can have a bond with another person, where they don't either, fall in love, go insane, or both. it's a simple fact of nature. We asked the Pharaoh about it earlier, and he seemed very keen to discuss the matter with us.

"Yes, see, Yugi and I, we were always the best of friends, until one day, when I started seeing him in a whole new light. It was just after he had pulled the puppy dog eyes actually. I remember looking at him and blushing a deep crimson colour. After that, it was several days before I could tell Yugi how I felt. It turned out he felt the same way, just couldn't tell me." Basically, this is the standard way these things happen. Nothing really changes from story to story, though sometimes it's the complete opposite of cases, like with what happened with the Tomb robber and his light.

"Ryou and I never really got on. I always hurt him, and acted like it was fun, but deep inside, I was very guilty. I didn't want to hurt him, but there was something inside me that wanted me to push him away, and I couldn't help it. It was only after much soul searching that I realised why this was. He was actually in hospital at the time, and I was the one who caused it. After having nearly died, Ryou woke up, and smiled, when he saw the worried expression on my face. Then, afraid that he would hate me, I told him everything that I had been feeling from day one. He didn't hate me at all, but loved me instead.

See? Violence towards Hikaris = Love for Hikaris. 

There are many 'fanfictions' about this fact too, all with very similar plotlines, based mostly on the two stories above. Some people though, they 'hide' their feelings from themselves, Say, for instance, Our resident psychopath, Mariku. (Who also goes by many other names, like Malik, Marik, Ishtar, Yami Malik... Jesus, you could write a dictionary on it, but anyways...) Who... Oh hell, we'll just let him tell you.

"I was actually 'cover-dating' someone to hide my feelings for my light. See, I thought if I could convince myself that I loved the other person, my feelings for him would just... go away. They didn't, and I felt really bad for being so selfish and hurting my Hikari like that, but I still couldn't change anything. It was only after the terrible accident happened, that I realised I couldn't live with myself if he didn't survive and find out. So I whispered it into his ear all the time at his bedside, breaking it up with the other person I was seeing in the meantime. Of course, when he woke up, I told him, and he said that he knew, and felt the same way."

See? No matter what the case, your Hikari loves you back. You could have been a bloody violent and abusive git for the whole time you've known him, or her for that matter, but as soon as you say, "I love you" They will announce that the feelings mutual and undying, and maybe you'll get a shag in on the side. It's just the way these things happen.

Now, let's see. what are the classic signs that you're in love?

1. A sense of butterflies in your stomach around your other, swelling to the size of the Great Moth should your Hikari look into your eyes.

2. A burning feeling in your cheeks, or a tightening in your pants (Males only Hun...) should your hands accidentally brush.

3. Your stomach doing a series of acrobatic flips inside you, when you Hikari's presence graces the room that you are in.

4. An irrestible urge to beat your Hikari into a bloody pulp. 

5. Your mind constantly reminding you that you mustn't, "Read too much into that" And then proceeding to show you an image of you and your Hikari 'walking down the aisle'.

6. Actually knowing what you feel, but not being able to admit it for 'fear of rejection'

7. After you and your Hikari have had a fight, insisting that you have a 'make-up cuddle'.

If you do any of the above, I'm sorry, but you're head over heels. But remember, no matter what, your Hikari WILL feel the same way. It's just how these things go. There's always a happy ending.

~~~

Y. Haku: Haku?

Haku: Yes?

Y. Haku: I... love you.

Haku: Fuck off. 

Y. Haku: -teary eyed- They LIE!!! Ahh well, Read and review.


	4. Chapter 4

Haku: HELLOOOOOO THERE!

Y. haku: -hands over his ears- That was... loud.

Mokuba: No kidding. Anyways, what did you give her this time?

Y. Haku: Erm... Bubble Tea?

Mokuba: Oh crap, she's going to be like this for a month! -panics-

Haku; -bouncing around the room- BOUNCE BOUNCE BOUNCE!!! I'VE USED THIS JOKE SO MANY TIMES AND I'M PROUD OF IT!

Y. Haku and Mokuba: -.-

REVIEW REPLIES:

**LoneWolfStar7**- Bad hikari! Don't touch Hannah's Manga! 

Y. Haku: My god, I don't believe she just said that.

**flowacat**- lol! That was... weird! Cool, but weird... And I'm glad you're enjoying this. It's a lot of fun to write.

**Serpent of Light**- ^_^ I'm glad you're enjoying it, and I'll try to keep it up to par.

**Silver Dragon, Iron Claws**- Careful, I don't want you to get caught out there. Even though that chapter wasn't for you, I hope some of the others will come in handy.

**Dagger5**- Lol! YAMI AND YUGI SHALL RULE ABOVE ALL OTHER PAIRINGS!

Mokuba: She's mad, isn't she?

Y. Haku: No, it's just the bubble tea.

Haku: -is running aroud screaming 'I AM A FISH!'-

Y. Haku: On second thought...

**Paladin Dragoon**- Actually, I just took the standard plotlines from the fics I read and turned them into this chapter, though I did come up with some of the symptoms myself.... But like I've said before, this is more a 'make a mockery of everything' fic than a 'be nice and try not to offend people' fic.

**Female-Yami/Yugi**- Actually, I know just how you feel about having a male Yami.

Y. Haku: Or, in a Yami's case, a female hikari. 

Haku: and Yami Jiei? (Hell, did I spell that right?) Sorry, but there's no defence, especially when you've had lessons from both Ryou and Yugi!

Mokuba: AND ME!

**Blaquerose**- Not my theories, the theories of Fanfiction writers everywhere, and please don't attack me with that... -quakes with fear, then dissapears into the Sennen Pencil, forcing Y. Haku to take control- 

Y. Haku : -sees Chainsaw- Owh crap. -sprints away-

**Yami and Yugi luvr**- -looks at the plushies- Where'd you get those? And I'm glad you're liking this fic. I hope it stays up to standard.

**Shori Musei**- Three guesses who says things for Living w/ Yamis? And I'm glad you're enjoying this.

**Bunny Meatball**- -Watches and simply laughs, ticking off something on her to-do before I die list-

DISCLAIMER:

Haku: I am merely a 15 yr. old antihistamine intolerant girl with Hayfever and an empty tissue box. I DO NOT OWN YU-GI-OH!

~~~

FAQ And RGA

~~~

Okay, this is the part of the fic where we answer YOUR Frequently asked questions (FAQ), with OUR reluctantly given answers. (RGA) Now once again, we remind you of the crappy quality of this book and advise you not to take our answers too seriously, and in a life-or-death situation, please, ask someone else. 

But first, we must ask ourselves this, Do we really want to answer all of your questions? no, we don't. If we did, there'd be no room for a Living With Hikaris 2, everything that wasn't in the first one. So we picked out 10 questions at random, (Using the magical hats at Yami's insistance.) and we will answer them as thus:

Firstly, the writers of Living with Hikaris will give their completely useless input, usually a load of gobbeldegook just used to fill up space. Then, Yami will give his advice as the divine pharaoh of Egypt and the duel monsters CHAMPION. Then, after the duel monsters CHAMPION (Yami, get away from the shift key!) has had his say, then the Tomb Robber will give his views, and finally? Our bleach haired boy is up. So, anyways, onto the questions.

(Basically this section is just like all those 'Dear Abbey' letters in Magazines and such. Absolutely worthless advice to questions that really shouldn't be asked.)

_FAQ: Hi! Recently, I just gained my own body after years of being trapped inside a golden item. I'm about 3015 years old, and I'm looking for some fun. Can you help me?_

RGA: Actually, no, we can't. Not with that mediocre amount of information anyways. How did you get your own body anyways may we inquire? See, certain Yamis have been trying to do so without much success. What's your secret? and which Fanfiction writer did you hire? As for the actual question, have you tried asking your Hikari about where the fun spots in his/her home town are? It might be useful, though unfortunately, due to their innocent natures, they might take you somewhere like a park, which is kind of a downer if you want to go to a strip club.

Yami: Try asking your hikari's older, somewhat less Naïve friends. They usually know where the latest and best entertainment is hidden. Also, spend some time down at the local arcade or game shop. They're great places to improve gaming technique, or just brush up on some skills.

Bakura: The shadow realm's always good. Try turning your Hikari's friends into game pieces or playing cards. It's always good for a laugh, that is, until your Hikari's friends Yami duels you and you get creamed. just, be warned, Don't feed the Blue eyes, or they will S.O.Y. (Figure it out for yourself)

Mariku (Y. Malik Malik, Marik, Ishtar etc...): Get yourself a boat, or a Motorbike, They're cool. Just stay away from your Hikari's sister though, because you could be working in a museum for awhile. Also, try to get your hands on a few Dozen mind slaves, and make a hobby out of duelling your sworn enemy with said mind puppets. Collecting the three God Cards doesn't sound like much of a challenge, but this hobby will keep you going for awhile as well.

_FAQ: Recently, I've been watching as all the other Yamis have been getting bodies, yet I'm still see through and can't touch anything. What is wrong with me? Am I just a loser?_

RGA: Most likely, you're not a looser, your problem is that you haven't hired a good enough fanfiction writer to rectify this problem. You may need to pay them a fee of up to 15 reviews, but I guarantee the process will be quick, painless and won't hurt a bit. On the plus side, if you hire someone with enough experience, you can also keep your mind link, free of charge. 

Yami: Defeat a bad guy and get your memories back. As a reward, you'll most undoubtedly be given your body.

Bakura: Oh, this one's EASY fixed. Wait until some psychotic man who dresses up in fruity clothing steals the soul of the Duel monsters former Champion's little brother to revive his dead wife, steal the body, get far enough away and transfer your soul into the body. That is, of course, if you can manage to get past a mortal who will try to knock you out and throw your Sennen item out the window.

Mariku: Of COURSE you're a looser! Who says you need your own body? Just send your Hikari's soul to the shadow realm and claim his body as your own. Must I explain EVERYTHING?

_FAQ: Why is my Hikari always on the bottom..._

RGA: We can't answer that question if we want to keep our PG13 rating.

_FAQ: I WASN'T FINISHED YET!!! Why is my Hikari always on the bottom end of the Height scale?_

RGA: Oooooohhhh... This is simply because of a Hikari defect called 'shrimpitis.' It means that almost all hikaris are on the titchy side, and people enjoy picking on them. It can't really be helped you know.

Yami: Try to get them to eat more. they might grow about a foot more before they fully stop growing. Also, try yo work in about a foot more height when you transform. That means that though you aren't nearly as tall as those around you, you don't have to crane your head to look at them.

Bakura: Ha! Put them on a rack, and stretch them out! Make them feel pain for not growing! Pain I tell you! PAIN! MUAHAHAHA! -coughhack-

Mariku: Haha! You have a short hikari and I don't... Hahaha! -points and laughs-

_FAQ: My hikari has a half-brother who won't let me take control. I really want to, because my Hikari can't take over the world without my help, but I can't get past that fact. How can I rectify this?_

RGA: HOW THE HELL SHOULD I KNOW???

Yami: You want to take over the world? Where do you live? I must defeat you in a crushing duel or... or the WORLD WILL END AND IT'LL BE ALL MY FAULT!!!

Bakura: JYEESSH! Pharaoh! Take a break from saving the world for once. My advice is to go into the shadow realm, and take over your hikari's mind. Then, go back into the real world and kill your Hikari's half-brother.

Mariku: OR you could wait until your Hikari hatches a daring plan, in which he will get said half brother to pretend to be your hikari and use a fake Winged Dragon of Ra card, thus ensuring the God's anger with said individual and they will knock out your Hikari's half brother. Then, you can come out Easy peasy. 

_FAQ: My hikari has stolen my pocky, and now he is bouncing around the room sqealing at the top of his lungs and accidentally breaking things. What do I do?_

RGA: Wait for him to calm down, Then file your insurance claim under 'Sugar rush damage.'

Yami: Hide your Pocky?

Bakura: Knock the dolt out, and stab him in the arm for good measure.

Mariku: Pocky? Where? I WANT POCKY! GIVE ME POCKY OR I'LL STAB YOU! (It should be noted at this point, that Mariku has the mental capacity of an extremely voilent, sadistic 6 year old. LITERALLY.)

_FAQ: Help! Help! I'm being Repressed!_

RGA: That quote is copyrighted! BAD YOU If the makers of Monty Python ever knew...

Yami: Oh no! SOMEONE'S IN TROUBLE! I must save them with an extremely long and drawn out duel in which I come up with many complicated strategies, even if I did only need a simple one! 

Bakura: SHUT UP! Someone will hear you and arrest me!

Mariku: Oh! Oh! I know this game! WE ARE THE KNIGHTS WHO SAY EKKI EKKI KEBANG ZUPONG!

_FAQ: I was wondering if you could help me come up with a cool catch phrase for myself and my Hikari?_

RGA: Hows about... NO? Though the others might have some suggestions... take it away boys!

Yami: "Trust... in the heart of the cards." "The fate of the world rests on my shoulders!" "KAIBA!" "Show yourself Malik!" 

Bakura: "That's what... 73 times I've come back now? Dammit I'm good at this." "You can't keep me contained in the shadows, I AM the shadows! MUAHAHAH!"

Mariku: "I banish you to the shadow realm!" Wait, why do I have the crappy one?

_FAQ: HELP! RABID FANGIRLS ARE AFTER ME!!!! WHAT DO I DO?_

RGA: Here, send us your adress, and we'll send you a can of FANGIRL DETERRENT (c), a chibi version of yourself for distraction purposes, a spork for fighting off the more persistent ones and running shoes. Run... Run for your LIFE!

Yami: Immigrate!

Bakura: Oh you poor soul! Banish YOURSELF to the shadow realm. Or, better yet, coat them in barbeque sauce, stick 'blue eyes' treats on them and send THEM to the shadow realm.

Mariku: Kill them. Kill the lot of them. There are far too many Rabid fangirls in the world.

_FAQ: YOU DIDN'T ANSWER MY QUESTION!!!_

RGA: Poor baby. Maybe next time.

Yami: I DIDN'T? I FAILED! OH WOE BETIDE THE WOMAN WHO GAVE BIRTH TO THIS OBSCENE BLEMISH ON THE WORLD OF SUCCESS AND REALLY NERVE WRACKING DUELS!!!

Bakura: Would you like me to engrave the answer onto the back of your skull instead? No? Then SHUT UP!

Malik: What Bakura said.

So there you have it. A few of your FAQ with our RGA. If we didn't answer your question, just remember what a crappy book this is anyway, and count yourself lucky that we did actually answer one or two questions.

~~~

Haku: This is getting a lot harder to write each week, because I'm afraid of repeating jokes.

Y. Haku: They're called Recurring gags in case you're interested.

Haku: So they do happen? YAY!

Mokuba: Read and Review!


	5. Chapter 5

Haku: -creeps in slowly-

Y. Haku: THERE YOU ARE! -glomptacklefling-

Haku: Yaaahhh! Run away!!!!

Everyone: -sweatdrop-

REVIEW REPLIES: Are going at the END!

**Note:**

_I am aware, that one of my chapters has offended a fair few people. This chapter (Which I can't remember the name of for the life of me... Hey, it's 8:00 on a Saturday morning, give me a break...) was the one that made a mockery of Yaoi/ Shounen ai, and Yuri/shoujou ai pairings. I would like to apologise for any offense to Yamis and/or Hikaris that I caused, and I take this opportunity to do so publicly._

_I would also like to take this chance to remind everyone publicly, that this fanfiction is just meant to be a light, (albeit somewhat dirty,) humorous mockery, not meant to be taken seriously in any way. This fic is designed to point out Clichés and plot holes within the anime Yu-Gi-Oh!, and it's large fanbase. (I believe one of the largest, if not THE largest on the site.) This fiction was meant entirely in good humour, its' contents are not to be taken seriously, but if it does create more 'controversy' if I may, it will be taken down._

_I love Yu-Gi-Oh! And I made this fiction as a sign of my love of the anime /manga /card game /computer game /merchandise /whatever... I insult my dear Frangipani (Atemu) at least twenty times a day, but I do so because I love his character, not for any other reason. In much this same way, I love to find plotholes and flaws in the plot, for example, I'm still wondering how come Yami forgot everything and Bakura didn't. I do not mean to offend with my ways, but if I have, I'm sorry._

_So please, be kind in your reviews, remember that this fiction is NOT to be taken seriously, and that I, as a writer have incredibly low self esteem. I take all comments to heart._

DISCLAIMER:

I don't own. Don't you dare even THINK about suing, because chances are, you don't either.

~~~

Chapter 5:

How to know when someone is out to get you.

~~~

Every Hikari has this little voice inside them that tells them what to do in tough situations. Most of the time, that voice is you, but there are other times when you get pushed out of the limelight, and another voice will step in, and try to take over.

This voice is usually an evil person of some description (mastermind, Kleptomaniac, rapist, cartoon obsessed 30 year old... etc.) and for our purposes, this person shall be dubbed the 'Baddie.'

A standard physical description of the 'Baddie': 

The baddie is usually taller than you are, and most likely around 1 -20 years older than you. We are yet to come across a 'Baddie' that is substantially younger than you or your Hikari. The 'Baddie' will generally have hair in the shade range of 'platinum blonde' to 'white' or sometimes even 'grey/silver', and they ALWAYS, and I mean ALWAYS have something funky going on with their eyes. 

For example, one of the more famous (now deceased) 'Baddies', Pegasus J. Crawford (Maximillion Pegasus if you prefer) Had something funky going on with his eyes, for one was solid gold, and fake. Malik Ishtar has lavender eyes, with two tattooed marks trailing down them, and our own two resident 'Baddies' have, or have had, something funky going on there. Isn't that right, Mariku and Bakura?

"Well, in my past life, before I was sealed away in that blasted ring, I had a rather interesting scar running down from my eye, and Mariku here looks exactly like his Hikari, (Except for the hair, and the third eye in the middle of his forehead) so yes, we do. Now leave us the **** alone!" The Tomb Robber relates.

That's not all! The baddie will also have a few interesting personality quirks, some as cliché as a deep, raspy voice (the 'evil git'), others as strange and out there as fruity clothing, an obsession with 'funny bunny' and a strange affinity for drinking 'fruit juice' from a wine glass. (The 'fruity old gentleman.')

And finally, (Though this is not a physical description) the 'baddie' will find a way to mess with yours, and your hikari's mind. Whether it be by reading it, messing with it, and trying to control it, or by sealing a part of heir soul away in it, they will attempt to control it somehow.

SO, how to know when the said bad guy is after you?:

Well, I'm no expert at this, but I know of a few hints that will tell you if they are or aren't, though it isn't guaranteed that these work.

1. Is there a new, English exchange student in your Hikari's class, who looks too incredibly innocent to be completely plausible?

If yes, Check him out, get a source of background information. Did his Archaeologist father buy him any strange, golden pendants from shady souvenir stands on his last dig? If so, there is an 'Ancient Tomb Robber Baddie' after you. This 'Baddie' will be insanely insistent, and is the type that 'no matter how many times you beat them, they still come back.'

2. Did your Hikari just receive a strange, unmarked package containing the following: A strange, fingerless glove, two star shaped counters and an unmarked videotape?

If yes, don't let your Hikari do the stupid, 'showing my naïveté', clichéd action and stick the video into the video player. But, if you already have, it is time for you and your Hikari to meet the 'Old, fruity gentleman' type baddie. This baddie wears red suits, with frills and bows and makes you wonder just how 'real' his Cecelia was... or whether she was not, in actual fact, Cecelia, but maybe Christopher instead. This type of 'Baddie' seems obsessed with mind games and cheating, and has a strange affinity with a cartoon rabbit called 'Funny Bunny.' Maybe that fruit juice is laced with something?

3. Is there a boy in another class who just recently opened up a very successful game shop, and just played a mind trick on the most dim-witted of your Hikari's friends?

If Yes, then you have just met the 'Dice boy Baddie' This 'Baddie' is really nothing to worry about, you've just got to beat him in a game of his own choosing, but this one is harder to recognise than the others, for he has black hair, instead of the usual blonde colourings. But this type of 'Baddie' is still identifiable through the funky eye thing, for most of the time, they have a triangle tattoo raking down from one of their eyes. This is somewhat contrasted by the fact that they have one dice earring though.

This 'Baddie' is quite peculiar though, for once you defeat them, they will become a 'Goodie' and join in your Hikari's group of friends.

4. Does there seem to be an uprising of seemingly brainless, clouded eyed minions in your town?

If Yes, then you are probably about to come face to face with the second-to-worst type of 'Baddie' there is. ((Haku: Hehe, I'm having such fun calling them baddies!)) This is the 'Mind controlling Baddie V.1" He will use people as his pawns, to try and destroy you, whilst being in a very far away place where no harm will come to him. Try and slow his minions down and eventually he will come and face you himself.

5. Is there a Mind Controlling Baddie V.1 in your town who seems like he's loosing the plot any more than he already has?

If Yes, then in a little while, you will no longer have a 'Mind Controlling Baddie V.1' in your town, but a 'Mind Controlling Baddie V.2'. The updated version of this baddie is an even greater threat to you and your Hikari then the first one, for he is even more ruthless, evil and has an even worse dubbed voice. Be very, very quiet... We're hunting 'Mind Controlling Baddie V.2's...

6. Did you just get transported into a virtual simulator, where a green haired look-a-like of your Hikari's greatest rival appeared?

If Yes, then you have just met the 'Deceased and disgruntled son Baddie.' This baddie is incredibly sour, because one, he's a virtual being, two, he's dead, and three, well, your Hikari's greatest rival stole his company. Hell, I'd be ticked off too. The thing to remember is this isn't yours and your hikari's battle. This is your Hikari's rivals battle. I'd stay out of it if I were you.

~~~

Haku: -sweatdrop- Noa's was really lame, but you can't blame me, I haven't seen the Noa Archive.

Y. Haku: Hmmm.... Then why'd you put him in?

Mokuba: Because people might have gotten sour if we didn't...

REVIEW REPLIES:

**Bunny Meatball/Odango Usagi**- -Bounces- Well, I suffer from shrimpitis too! I'm exactly 1 inch taller than Yugi! And I was thinking about doing a second chapter of FAQ... but I do need some FAQ from the readers...

**Blaquerose**- -blinks, then throws Chibi, Neko, demon, Inu, angel, Vampire, and sugar-high Ryous at Kai- Hopefully that will distract her long enough so we can save you Ryou!

Atemu, Yugi and Malik: -walk in-

Y. Haku and Mokuba: -trying to save Ryou- WHY AREN'T YOU HELPING???

Haku: Inaminit! -Staring vividly at the three-

**Flowacat-**

Y. Haku: Tying her to a chair! That's a perfect way to do it! 

Haku: Oh dear. -sprints off-

**LoneWolfStar7**- -pokes out tongue- I'm not your average Hikari. 

Y. Haku: -sighs- Can I help with the plans for world domination at all?

**Paladin Dragoon**- Add in a 'h' between the 's' and the 'i' and you got it. 

**Dagger5**- ^_^ Pocky is... well... it's... -isn't entirely sure how to describe it- well anyways, I'm weird because most people like it and I hate the stuff.

And there are better oxygen levels down here. So :-P 

**Silver Dragon, Iron Claws**- I'm glad you liked it. I'm also glad it was semi-helpful!

**Female-Yami/Yugi- **-blinks several times- -starts to feel speshul- ^_^ Yay! Someone is protecting me from da nasty flamers!

Y. Haku: Hikari, are you feeling alright?

**Princess Krystal01**- I'm glad you're enjoying it.

**Jkateel**- -smiles proudly- I'm sure you're just sayin that...

**JenniChan**- -blinkblink- I think the note up the top is for you.

**Tramontana Keeper**- ^^ Yay! I'm so glad you like it! -huggles yew- And thanks for all da nice reviews!

**Saiyan Jedi**- ^_^ looks like you're having a fair bit of trouble there...

Y. Haku: And we realise that not all Hikaris are cute and chibi... this fic was written based on the three Yami/Hikari pairs in the show.

Haku: AND DON'T YOU EVEN _THINK_ ABOUT TAKING MY SENNEN PENCIL! -Clings to it- The precious... the Precious!

Mokuba: Uh.... huh....

**YamiClara**- ^_^ Otay then! 

Y. Haku: Are you SURE you're feeling alright Hikari?

Haku: Apart from a chest infection... yeah! Perfectly fine!

~~~

Haku: As I've said in a review or two, I'm going to do a second chapter of FAQ. PLEASE SEND IN SOME QUESTIONS!!!! Anyways, Read and review?

(My goal is now to have 100 reviews before the end of the fic.)


	6. Chapter 6

Haku: HI THERE! And welcome, welcome to the next instalment of Living with!

Y. Haku: Okay, here's your five bucks. You can do a cheesy game show host type greeting.

Haku: ^_^ -takes money-

Mokuba: -sweatdrop- I missed something, didn't I?

DISCLAIMER:

Haku: ... I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh!... Yet...

~~~

How to defeat said bad guy

~~~

!!!IMPORTANT NOTE!!!

We, the makers of Living with Hikaris would like to take this moment to remind everyone that these methods are only our suggested paths, and not the ones that should be taken by the following people:

Friendship activists

Extreme neat freaks

People who enjoy drinking tea.

Anyone who reacts badly to stress or pressure.

Thank you.

!!!END IMPORTANT NOTE!!!

Now, everyone here knows (Or should know) How to identify a Baddie who has come after you, and/or your Hikari. Before we go any further though, we'd like to give a brief re-cap of all the types of Baddie that can be encountered. They are: the Ancient Tomb Robber Baddie, the Old, fruity gentleman type baddie, the Dice boy Baddie, the deceased and disgruntled son baddie and the Mind controlling Baddie V's .1 and 2. Now, depending on the severity of each 'baddie' you encounter (And whether they've got the funny eye thing going on...) you will need a different strategy to face each one. 

Though, surrounding all these baddies, there is one thing that you must do. 

No matter which one, no matter where, or in what era...

You must...

**_Duel._**

Yes, folks, you heard right. You must duel each and every single baddie that you come across, and maybe several of their minions as well. It's just the way the world works.

Hell, if we knew why, we'd tell you. But.... Unfortunately we don't, so it's straight onto the lesson.

The one thing about these duels, you must realise is that more often than not, the fate of the world will come down to timing, luck and the flip of a card. And we're not kidding about the last one, either.

See, All of these baddies are incessantly strange, for rather than hiring a personal hit man to take out members of the UN one at a time, and slowly gain control, they'd rather duel you, a person with virtually no name, except the 'king of games' and place their fate on your own special golden item. They'd rather try and take over the world with a wee bit of metal than with an army... To me, that's just a little odd, but I won't go into that here.

As soon as you've identified that, yes, there is indeed a baddie after you with the funky eye thing going down, ((Haku: Sorry, but one of my reviewers claimed that Malik didn't have the funky eye thing, so I'm gonna be annoying and throw that in at every opportunity...)) Then you must ask yourself, what to do?

Do you beat the living shit out of them? Or do you duel them and put your faith in little pieces of cardboard and a holographic projector? Decisions, decisions.

Okay, let's have a closer analysis of one of our baddies, shall we? And we'll do a standard play-by-play of how the Duel goes. Let's take the "Fruity old Gentleman" Type baddie, though I assure you, this strategy works very well with the other types as well. This one's just more interesting than most, due to certain events that take place.

Ready?

**Step one: Coming home**

You and your Hikari will be buzzing around town happily, when your Hikari invites his friends over for dinner/duelling. (Notice how the Hikari includes Duelling. It's his life passion, and of course, he's willing to duel anyone who he can.... with your help of course though... though at this time he may not know you exist... I'm rambling, aren't I?) 

**Step 2: The unmarked package**

Your hikari will notice a package by the front door, or maybe a relative of theirs has already brought it inside, and when your hikari enters into the house (Slash small business) they will receive this package from said family member, with a statement like: "Oh, look, something arrived for you in the mail!" Oh look! They state the obvious!

**Step 3: The video**

This is where you can either be a smart Yami, or an insanely dumb one. You can smash the video that came in the unmarked package, thus being smart and saving your Hikari for weeks of pain and searching, or you can be dumb and let them watch the video.

Let's say that you were dumb, Okay?

Your Hikari will proceed to put the video into the recorder, whilst you are mentally berating yourself, for you know what a stupid idea that is, and you will see something that you might not expect...

Unless you've read this self-help guide that is.

You will see the creator of your hikari's favourite game on the video, speaking to you and telling your Hikari what a fantastic duellist you are, and that that defeat of the world champion was simply remarkable.

You will most likely be thinking: "Why thank you... I try.... HEY! WHAT DO YOU MEAN MY HIKARI GETS THE CREDIT???!!!"

-Sigh- Ahh, the hells of being a yami, huh?

**Step 4: Duel number Zero, Zero one.**

Yup, by the end of it, you'll feel like there have been more duels than you can count on your fingers and toes, but let's just continue, shall we?

All of your duels will follow the same, stock standard pattern.

You will look like you're winning, find your opponent has been toying with you, start to loose, drastically claim that you've been toying with your opponent, your opponent draws a lucky card, repeat steps 4 and 5 several times, draw a lucky card when your opponent has many life points, and you have next to none, and then win.

You always get to win, you lucky bastard, except in duel Zero, Zero one.

In this Duel, you next to always loose, or the duel remains undecided.

**Step 5: MUAHAHA! The funky eye thing!**

And now, it's time for the Baddie's all powerful, secret weapon, the funky eye thing.

Whether it be a third eye on the head of an unwitting pawn, throwing a die between the eyes of your hikari's best friend, or whether they just have plain funky eyes, the next part is where the funky eye thing is revealed.

In the example of the Fruity old gentleman, this is where he reveals his gold and permanent fake eye, that he claims can send souls to the 'shadow realm' and read minds.

Ahh... so that's why you didn't win... he cheated.

Hey! WHAT THE F**K DID HE JUST DO TO YOUR HIKARI'S GRANDPA???

Heheh... sorry about that...

**Step 6: The deadly realisation**

Oh no! Your elderly loved one is gone! Sealed away in the cold, dark abyss that is a shadow realm, where hungry monsters will gnaw on their skull! What to do, what to do...

Duh! Rescue them!

Take up the challenge that the baddie offered you. Do anything to save your loved one! That is what you must do.

Or, you could sit at home, and hope that the LSD in Fruity's juice wears off soon.

**Step 7: Duels, Duels and more Duels.**

Exactly what the step title says. You've arrived at the location they want you at, and now you must duel. Duel, duel and duel, all the while, your cute, loveable Hikari getting the credit.

You must duel until you accomplish the task set out for you by the Baddie, then you must face them.

Or, fight your way through the finals (More duels) and face them.

This wouldn't be so bad, if the pattern stated in step 4 didn't keep repeating itself over and over...

**Step 8: Final confrontation (Final Duel)**

Whoopee. Another Duel. Just when you thought that you couldn't take it anymore, they bang another one on top o' ya.

Never mind though, this one is always more exiting that the others due to your tendency to get a little overdramatic, seeing as the fate of the world rests in your hands. (I thought you were just doing this to rescue your grandpa?)

And this is a duel that you're guaranteed to win. After all, you can't have a baddie winning, now, could you? That goes against all the acceptable laws of nature.

**Step 7.5: The part that was forgotten above (The rival)**

Oh yeah, we forgot to mention, the duel with the rival.

This generally happens before your duel with the baddie. It involves you and your rival being locked in a fierce battle of strength and wills to find out who is superior until you duel once again. 

You either win this one, or are forced to loose this one.

There's no two ways about it... You are always gonna win, unless you are forced to loose. (By forced, we mean that seeing as duelling is what your rival lives for as well, He will threaten you with attempted suicide unless you let him win.)

-cough- This duel follows the same duelling pattern, though it generally involves your hikari's friendship harpy friend bullshitting on about friendship through most of it, and you desperately trying to ignore her, whilst reminding yourself that murder is not a good thing.

Rather annoying.

**Step 9: VICTORY!!!!**

Need we say more?

**Step 10: Another Baddie?**

Of course, peace doesn't last long, and as soon as you've rescued your loved one, another baddie will come and take their place. 

Here we go again...

So there you have it. Your plan of attack when it comes to defeating Baddies. Just keep following this pattern, and no matter how many times the baddies come after you, you will still be able to hold them off.

~~~

**tati1-** Thankee for the kind words, and I was stupid to let them get to me... ^_^ and I'm really flattered by your words! -Blushes-

Y. Haku: Oh dear... all this praise will go to her head I tell you.

**YamiClara**- O.o -watches- Thanks for the praise! This mortal being isn't worthy.

Y. Haku: You mean you're mortal? Haha! You can die! -Pokes fun-

Haku: When I die, you die, idjit.

Y. Haku: Forgot about that... -.-;

**modern-eponine**- Lol! Let's just say I have a warped mind, okay?

Y. Haku: Erm... Hikari, that's not really a good thing.

Mokuba: -nods-

**Splath**- What's wrong with being a different gender to your other half?

Y. Haku: Look, Hikari, you don't find yourself a completely different gender when you take over, do you?

Haku: No....

Y. Haku: Let's just say that it's disturbing.

Mokuba: Hey! I didn't know that big brother had a Yami...

Haku: As for your questions... I don't know really... I guess I'm just lucky.

**LoneWolfStar7**- Awww.... What happened to the Ritalin I gave you? Do you want sedatives instead?

Y. Haku: -shakes head- This is why I'm glad I have a goth for a Hikari. 

Haku: I'm not a goth!

Y. Haku: No, you only listen to any depressing music you can get your hands on, loud enough to make the soulrooms shake, you have a morbid fascination with pain and death, and you wear black all the time...

Haku: And I am completely insane come to think of it... But not a goth. I hope you get over your depression... if they hurt you, do you really feel that they were worth your time?

Y. Haku: Shut up! You're spoiling fanfiction plotlines there.

**Paladin Dragoon**- Lol! Don'tcha just love that word? And thanks for the compliment!

Mokuba: -runs around screaming madly- YEAAAARRRRGHHH! THERE'S A FRUITY OLD GENTLEMAN TYPE BADDIE AFTER ME!

Haku: Well, I can't say I didn't know that it would make somebody paranoid...

**Blaquerose**- -Watches as you two fawn over the blonde, jewellery toting Bishounen who is absolutely perfect in every way, except for his dubbed voice, except for when he pretends to be innocent- -melts into a puddle of goo-

Y. Haku: ... O.....Kaaaaayyyy....

Haku: -blinks once, and then twice as she remembers the evil git he turns into, and brandishes the Sennen pencil in her rage- WHY I AUGHTA!!! Ahh well... As for the review, Malik does have the funky eye thing going on... though his eyes are awesome, and heart melting and...

Mokuba: Get on with it!

Haku: -cough- Ahem. I was referring to the lines that come down from his eyes, onto his face. I have no idea what they're called. -Suddenly gets caught up in a giant conga line- CHIBI CHIBI CHI-BI!

Y. Haku: I don't know you Hikari.

**Tramontana Keeper**- Thanks for clearing that up for me. -Squishes another plot hole into the ground- And his dubbed voice is horrible, isn't it?

Y. Haku: Also, thanks for the compliment on the description of Noa.

Haku: Noa.... -sigh- -goes of into dreamyland-

**Jkateel**- -blushes deeply- You're too kind to me, did you know that? -Gives yew a crate of cookies-

Y. Haku: Hey! No fair! They were mine!

**Princess Krystal01**- lol! That's a brilliant question! I'll have to put it in when I get around to doing the next FAQ... It should be next chapter...

Y. Haku: Should... Hmmm... Why does that remind me of all the times in the past that you have said 'should?'

Haku: Erm.... no reason... 

**Bunny Meatball/Odango Usagi**- I shall add that question to my list of FAQ. -Writes it down-

Y. Haku: No comment on the threesome stuff though... 

Haku: Threesomes? Where?

Y. Haku: EWWWWW! Hikari!!!

**Flowacat**- O.o Did you see that, Kohaku? I got a YAMI to smile! ^_^

Y. Haku: Hmmmm.... Interesting. And here you go! -Chucks a can of 'baddie-b-gone' at you- Use that to get rid of your mind controlling baddie V.1 problem.

**Silver Dragon, Iron Claws**- Oh wow! Thanks for the kind words! All my reviewers are really flattering and I have not got the foggiest as to why.

Y. Haku: They think that you're good Hikari, take it as a compliment.

Haku; I'm not though... that's the thing.

**Random Thoughts**- O.o That is a good question, though I'll have to ask my Yami about that...

Y. Haku: I can't reply to that question either, because I write Fanfiction too...

**Saiyan Jedi**- I reckon, eh? We're a real sadistic bunch, yet we still get protection from the RSPCH... Strange, really...

Y. Haku: And most unfortunately, we live in Australia, where on Pay T.V they got up to the Battle blimp, just after Mai and Mariku's duel, and then repeated from Duellist Kingdom, and on free to air, they just reached Battle City for the first time.

Haku: So we're deprived of all this stuff, except by use of the internet! -Goes back to reading her manga scans-

**Rae and Silver**- I still pity you for having two yamis... one is most definitely bad enough. And thanks for the support... with all my fantastic reviewers I should get over. 

Y. Haku: Of course, it has nothing to do with your writing ability and the fact that your reviewers might actually enjoy what you do?

Haku: Of course not. They're just so fantastic that they review and... -Yammers for awhile-

**Kaibascutie-** -blush- Wow. I never thought someone would read absolutely everything! -Hug- You've made me feel so great!

Y. Haku: And thanks for leaving a review for every chapter! It makes us feel great that you would take time to do that, instead of compiling it all into one at the end.

Mokuba: So glad that you're enjoying it.

**Jia-BlackHoleSun**- Yeah, it would, but I'm going by the stereotypical fanfiction style yami. (You know, the cliché ones that always seem to occur in fics?) But you are right there.

Y. Haku: That's why the info is so lousy. It goes by whatever the cliché is.

Haku; Shush you! -Bonks him-

~~~

Haku: O.o that was a lot of review replies. I just wanna say that you guys ROCK! -Hands out crates of cookies and plushies to all- 

Y. Haku; Yeah! It's great just reading all your reviews and knowing that someone appreciates what my Hikari writes.

Haku: Thankees all again, and don't forget to...

Mokuba: Read and review!


	7. Chapter 65

Haku: And all the little people sang Doot da doot da doot...

Y. Haku: What are you doing?

Haku: I've got a song in my head, okay?

Mokuba: Well sing something else.

Haku: And all the little monsters sang Doot da doot da doot....

Mokuba: Helpful...

DISCLAIMER:

Haha... that's really funny... that someone would actually think I owned Yu-Gi-Oh!

~~~

MORE FAQ!

~~~

See, the reason we put this chapter in and didn't tell you about it was to prove just how bad a book this is. You're probably looking for the chapter: Duelling and All it's merits, aren't you?

Well, here's where the authors got lazy and asked some people to send in questions. These brave people, risking getting publicly humiliated and ridiculed have sent in questions, that will be answered in much the same format as the previous FAQ and RGA chapter.

_FAQ: (Submitted by Princess Krystal01) Why does my hikari not have any fashion sense?_

RGA: depends by what you define as Fashion sense. I mean, if your Hikari dresses in turtleneck sweaters and bellbottom jeans, we can see where you're coming from. If, however, your Hikari merely dresses in a version that is of similar taste than yours, it's probably hereditary.

If your Hikari does have bad fashion sense, try dropping a few stubtle hints, say, moving some of their more fashionable clothes towards the front of their drawers and closets, or, if they are too fargone for such hints to be useful, get the fashion police upon their tiny rears.

Yami: Three words, Black, Silver, Belts. If your Hikari has these three things in their ensemble, they aren't fashion deprived at all, but it is you who is. If not, buy these things, and force your Hikari to wear them. 

Skintight is good.

Bakura: That's coming from a pharaoh who used to wear more jewellery than even Malik over there? Look. Are you really going to take the Pharaoh's advice on this one, when it's clear that all Hikaris have bad fashion sense? My advice is: Put up with it. There is absolutely NOTHING you can do about this one. It's an inbred thing, where they'd rather wear woollen jumpers in the middle of a hot summer, than be caught DEAD without them. 

I'm pretty sure it's a part of the whole 'innocence' thing, but a whole lot more Hikaris should wear red open cloaks that reveal their chests and little loincloths. If anything, they'd be a lot cooler in the summer months.

Mariku: I heard that, Bakura. But I highly agree with this question, WHY does the Hikari have such a bad fashion sense? Shouldn't they know by now that a lavender midriff top with an open midsection and gold chains says things about their gender preference?

And what's with all the jewellery and the hair? Honestly, does anyone's hair really need to be THAT long?

_FAQ: (Submitted by Yami Bunny Meatball) I wonder *why* people write these horrendous "fanfictions" about yamis and hikaris...?_

RGA: Because it's fun, and the true rabid fangirl has a deep desire to pair a main character of ANY anime up with a 'Mary-sue' version of themselves and snog the character's brains out. I have even seen a few males write their own characters into the story, just so they can snog the main character.

Also, the pairings system is a marvellous thing, especially the same sex pairings that have fangirls slobbering and cooing all over them. A writer of these strange and mysterious 'fanfictions' (Most of which actually have nothing to do with the cannon of the story and simply use the characters) will take the characters and put them in strange and, dare we say errotic, situations, for their wn perverted pleasure. ((Haku: Not pointing fingers of course. Y. Haku: -puts down finger that was pointing at Haku))

Yami: being the victim of many such 'fan-fictions, I don't understand it myself, but these people seem to get a sense of grim satisfaction out of seeing their favourite characters in situations that are less than believeable. I, myself (And I'm sure the other yamis have had similar experiences.) Have been a vampire, ignored my Hikari, been sent off to a magical school, and even been a pirate upon occasion. 

Bakura: In much a similar fashion to Yami, excluding being a Pirate, I have been put in these strange fictions and placed in situations that I would rather not know about. The standard 'Thief kidnaps anzu or another female cast member, shags her brains out and falls in love' does get tiring after awhile. Still, the fanfictions are mildly interesting, if you can overlook the strange pairings that some people think up. Me and the Pharaoh! HONESTLY!

Mariku: People write these fanfictions to torture the cast members. It's as simple as that. It's their own brand of showing the world just how cruel they can be to their favourite characters. It's as simple as that.

_FAQ: (Submitted by yami Thoughts) what if my hikari INSISTS on writing fanfiction?_

RGA: Your Hikari insists? That does present a problem, now doesn't it? Hmm... the solution is to let them write it, but discourage them from using mary sues and cliché plots, hard though it is.

Try to think of a way to bend the plots to suit what your Hikari is trying to accomplish, and for godssake! DISCOURAGE THE USE OF MARY SUES WITH EVERYTHING YOU CAN MUSTER!!!

Yami: The above solution won't work you know, because of your hikari's secret weapon, remember it? That's the one, the puppy dog eyes. Try and resist with all your might, but there's really nothing you can do if your Hikari wants to write fanfiction. Try to discourage them, by all means, I'm just warning you that it won't work.

Bakura: My my, I never thought I'd see the day... Is the almighty Pharaoh giving up? Anyways, what the pharaoh said is true, and most Hikaris these days DO write fanfiction. Hell, I even caught Ryou writing a bit the other day. The thing is, it's the latest fad, and like all fads, it should pass. ((Haku: HELL NO! FANFICTION FOREVER!!!!)) 

Try to discourage the heavily errotic ones though, innocent children scour the internet and already have porn, hackers, drugs and alcohol blaring down at them from all angles... 

Actually, disregard that last point entirely... an innocent child? In this day and age?

Mariku: Write some yourself, convieniently putting the death of your Hikari as the summary. Upon seeing that they are giving you bad ideas (after recovering from the initial shock,) Your Hikari will cease immediately. Once again, the simple solution is the best.

_FAQ: (From Dragon Child.)_ _What does RSPCH stand for?_

RGA: Royal Society of Prevention of Cruelty to Hikaris.

Yami: Rotten Shaadi portrays a cool head. Hey! That sounds like a newspaper title...

Bakura: Really stupid Pharaoh and Child Hentai society... No, wait, that would need an 's' on the end... Hmmm... that's a hard one. 

Mariku: Dammit! I know this one! Erm... Ratty... no... Righteous.... no... Oh damn! I can't remember!

That's it! aRrogance iS Possibly the Coolest attitude to Have. 

RGA: Erm... you guys are TERRIBLE at that kind of stuff, you know.

_FAQ: (Submitted by Crazyrabidfangurl01) Why will my short and squat hikari not let me come out of my soul room at school and around her family?_

RGA: Because your short and sqiat Hikari is afraid of what you might do to her reputation, even though you may not affect it at all. She believes that because you are somewhat taller than her (I'm guessing) she needs you to stay in your soulroom until she gets a growth spurt at the very least. 

Yami: Because she's afraid of you still, and is afraid of what her family and friends will think when they find out that she has a dead spirit of some description inside her. I went through much a similar thing when my Hikari first met me. He didn't let me come out around ANYONE!

Bakura: Because you don't beat her up enough I say! Let her feel the pain for not allowing you the free reign! Of course, if you want to hurt her, do it away from the prying eyes of the RSPCH, or they will come and arrest you. And then, when she does finally relinquish control over to you, make her pay by turning her friends into playing cards and game pieces! It's her fault after all!

Mariku: Wait for her to fall unconscious, then take control and never give it back! Send her to the shadow realm, and then torment her friends and family and show your rage! Steal her sibling's pocky! Destroy her friendships, then give her life back completely wrecked and watch joyfully as she tries to build it up once more from scratch.

_FAQ: You STILL didn't answer my question!!!_

RGA: Most likely, that's because it was a Hikari asking about their yami and will be put in living with yamis, you simpleton!

Yami: You mean I faled AGAIN? I might as well just go kill myself for the world is doomed if I fail! Wait... I'm a corporeal spirit...

Sometimes it sucks being dead.

Bakura: You got that right, Yami, now, let's see, here's 30 cents... CALL SOMEONE WHO CARES!

Mariku: Erm... that's nice. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some buildings to blow up... or something else equally as evil...

~~~

Haku: -is tired- -looks at the clock- 1:00 AM!!! No wonder why! I'm sorry if this wasn't up to scratch... so tired...

Y. Haku: Hmm... It's her own fault for procrastinating so much.

Mokuba: -nods-

Haku: Okies, I'm behind deadline, so I won't be able to do review replies. Sorry! And you guys know I love you... right? Right? 


	8. Chapter 7

Haku: Lookie! It's back!

Y. Haku: The only reason why you like this story is it gets lots of reviews.

Haku: Shush! -looks up- OH CRAP!!!! NOT AGAIN!!!! -runs away from angry people throwing things at her for not updating-

DISCLAIMER:

Look, how could I own Yu-Gi-Oh this chapter, if I didn't own it any other chapter of this fic?

------

Living with Hikaris

Duelling and why one does such a stupid thing.

------

We have established that you must duel said Baddie who is coming after you, but we haven't really said _why_, have we?

- Well, see, there is merit behind the duelling, those cards that ((Haku: My god it's so hard to type this while singing along to Eminem Mixtape.)) you're holding. They give you amazing credentials, and if you are particularly lucky, you can create a multimillion dollar business out of the paper crap. See, people LOVE duellists, but instead of becoming one themselves, they will want to watch and cheer for you.

- Ahh well, all the more glory for you.

- And your Hikari has loved to duel since before he could even read. It's been his lifelong passion, and what better way to win their heart by showing them just how to duel properly?

- Oh yeah, and you can cheat. You can cheat so bad, and no one will know the difference. Even if you're the good guy, you can cheat. If your card says you can bring back a monster, why not bring back some life points instead? These holograms can do so much that just playing with the cards wouldn't be able to. Like your dark magician actually having a SOUL! He can jump in and save you at the last minute, even if you are loosing.

- You might want to keep a check on your Hikari however, they may not believe that there are merits behind world domination, and be what we call a 'goodie-goodie' If you ever transferr everyone's soul into decks of these cards, he may betray you and miraculously get the other player to win. (Some loyalty, huh?) Just take away from the match that if the brat hadn't cheated, you would have won.

- Wait, didn't you cheat anyways?

- If you're a good guy, with spiky red, gold and black hair however, you won't even have to try to win. You will anyway, because your faith in the heart of the cards (How much B.S. is that anyway?) will allow you to come through and win glory for you. Go team! However, there is one person you will loose against. See that sweet loveable Hikari that you share a body with? Yes, bingo. That one. That is the only being you'll ever loose to, unless you're not a certain spiky haired pharaoh, then you will loose to a spiky haired pharaoh and get sent to the shadow realm for being mean.

- ANYWAYS, back onto the point above about that small little loveable Hikari beating the crap out of you. It happens. Yeah, we were shocked when it happened too. You taught this little being everything you know and he just turns around and uses it against you. How evil.

- Truly evil.

- Who thought he had it in him? Certainly not the little adorable being of light who you've cared for and cherished, and bought vanilla popsicles for on a Sunday afternoon because he asked nicely? Yup, sorry, that little being of light you love so much is evil incarnate. Shit happens. And you found this out by DUELLING him! Isn't it grand?

One thing you should be happy about though, after your Hikari has beaten you in a sacrificial duel sending you through to the other world, Satan will leave him, and he'll pull a Judas. (**Judas- **Betrayer of the Christian lord. Hanged self after seeing error of ways. To **'Pull a Judas'** To see the error of one's ways, and become so incredibly distressed one tries to kill one's self.) Don't worry, You'll come back in time to save the little being of light, and he might learn from the situation. More duelling against a bad guy that wants to take advantage of said Judas-Hikari's distress, and you're in the all clear. Hey, you're alive again, aren't you?

So anyways, duelling is incredibly important for many reasons. It reveals personalities like you wouldn't believe! It gets you a name amongst the rabid squealing fangirls of the internet, who will squabble over any paicture that has even a corner of your hair in it, and you get all the glory, fame and money that comes with being a world class duellist.

But can we be frank here? Why do you want all that? Rabid fangirls going for your groin every time they see you, just to see how big you are, that little being of light showing his true evil potential, and potential for betrayal, and money, the root of all evil. (No pun intended.)

Well, it would be fun while it lasted I guess.

So now you know the merits of duelling. Thinking back, it's kinda pointless, considering some duels are life threatening, and EVERYONE cheats in some way, shape or form. And there are so many bloody powershippers out there!

Have fun!

----------

Haku: I'm sorry about the shortness of this chapter. I accidentally put a lot of what this one was going to have last chapter, when I got too much into it, so you're gonna have to put up with a short arse chapter this week.

Y. Haku: Hopefully it was funny enough to make up for that.

Haku: Anyways, there's going to be 2 more chapters instead of 1. I decided to put in a 'letters to the editor' at the very end, just for a bit more humour.

Haku: After that, I'll start Another Beyblade fic, and when I finish one of my others, I'll start living w/ Yamis. So now you know my schedule.

Y. Haku: Now, on to the review replies.

REVIEW REPLIES:

**Paladin Dragoon (ch. 7)-** Yush love that word I do! As for your question about Yami's '3rd eye,' Can I use that as an FAQ in the next one, please? I will give ya credit love!

**Paladin Dragoon (Ch. 8)** I'm glad you enjoyed that. And yes. -waves a little flag saying I heart fanfiction.

**Flowacat (Ch. 7)-** lol. Take care of the Baddie-b-gone. I don't have much left, and it takes a year to cure. -looks over at the vats curing at the moment- And I never knew you cared Yami Flowa.

Y. Haku: Rest assured Haku, I don't.

Haku: That's nice....

**Flowacat (ch. 8)** RSPCH might sound familiar because of the Royal Society of Prevention of Cruelty to Animals? (RSPCA?) But please, no avert displays of emotion in front of me...

Y. Haku: -glomps Haku-

Haku: Or to me. -shudder-

**crazyrabidfangurl01 (Ch. 4)** lol. Yes, as a sister, just like I love Y. Haku as that annoying pain in the arse that I couldn't live without.

Y. Haku: I... I... didn't know you cared! -bursts into hysterical tears-

Haku: Oh my.

**crazyrabidfangurl01 (ch. 6)** Shoot, I really should have done review replies last chapter, I'm like SWAMPED here... Anyways, as for the really evil brother baddie, I can answer that, my brother just turned 18 today... -shudders- he's rubbing it in like you wouldn't believe. So yeah, there is one.

**crazyrabidfangurl01 (ch. 7)** Yes, it's easier, and a lot more fun, but do it where no one can see. If there's no witnesses it's just word against word... -laughs evilly-

**crazyrabidfangurl01 (Ch. 8)** lol. I just found something out the other day, I'm the second shortest in my homeroom... scary thought seeing as last year I was in the second row. Damn the people who grow!

**DinahS (Ch. 8)** Yes, it is nessesary for the Yamis to be cruel and sadistic.... I'm just keeping to the cannon of the show...

Haku: Sort of...

**Jia-BlackHoleSun (Ch. 7)** I believe you! Just stop crying! -panics- Oh, I'm no good at calming people down!

**Blaquerose (ch. 7)** -stares- Oh my. That's one long review. But please release the bishies, I'm sure there are many rabid fangirls who'll have your arse for that. -blink- My best friend inclusive.

Padme (the best friend): -pops up out of nowhere- WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY BAKU????? GRARR! -goes rabid on your ass-

Haku: -holds Padme back- See?

**Jkateel (ch. 7.)** FINALLY! Someone who agrees me on the funky eye thing. You speak to me! It's a miracle!

Y. Haku: -pouts because Haku gets all the credit for the fanfics, even though he helps with spelling-

**Jkateel (ch. 8)** Sorry for the heaps long wiat... Swamped by schoolwork.

**Burning-Yami-Rain (ch. 2)** I'm glad you're enjoying it.

**Burning-Yami-Rain (ch. 7)** lol. Sorry if it's not up to your Yami's standard then... And who exactly are you keeping the fact you're reading this from?

**Silver Dragon, Iron Claws (Ch. 7)** Well, most Yamis are baddies anyways, just look at Baku and 'Riku. But yeah, I can see your point. Twould be hard to relate to that chapter if you weren't a goodie.

**Silver Dragon, Iron Claws (Ch. 8)** It's marked 65 to add to the humour. It was originally meant to be 6.5, but seeing as FF.net doesn't allow full stops, it's 65. I don't want to change it, because it adds to the fact that the fiction is constantly reinforcing it's crappyness.

Haku: And I started some stories with OCs, but I got rid of them, because it's hard to keep up one that doesn't turn into a mary sue, without killing the plotline. Male or female. Just tell your Hikari not to godship them, okay? Also, tell him not to take away the mill. Pencil from me!

Y. Haku: Yeah, it's what enables her to write half decent fanfics.

Haku: that was mean.

**kiarah (ch.7)** Yes, I'm an insane, loopy, schitzofrenic, sadistic bitch who has nothing better to do than write crappy fiction! I've been waiting for someone to figure that out!

Y. Haku: What she means, is yes, she is mad. She has completely and utterly lost it over the course of the last 6 years. We commend you for picking up on that fact. -gives cookies-

**Princess Krystal01 (ch. 7)** Thanks for the compliment, but what do you mean, 'as always?' they can't all be funny, can they?

**Tati1 (ch. 7)** Hell, I'm sorry I didn't update faster, hunny, I've just had a lot of stuff on, you wouldn't believe. (I had to stay up till 1 and then wake up at 5 just so I could get this one out to yas all.) I'll try to update faster, year 11 is killing me.

**Silent Angel Dark Knight (ch. 7)** Yeah, I managed to get the HP one updated last week, plus I have a new completely HP one up if you want to read it. -kicks it- It's not getting many reviews... grr...

Haku: And me? come up with something good? My god, what did they put in your coffee to make you say that?

**Saiyan Jedi (Ch. 7)** Whoo! I finally got to ya love! -looks up at all the other reviews- My god, this time I think there's more replies than there is fic. And as for RSPCH, it's Royal Society of the prevention of cruelty to Hikaris. Yami's the founding member. -points at him as he walks past, giving out flyers-

Haku: As for your question from the Extra Mile fic (Was it that one, or the other one? Hell, the one where I talked about FMA and Inuyasha.) FMA is Full Metal Alchemist. It's been around for about a year now.

**Sayian Jedi (ch. 8)** -looks about and upn seeing that no one is going to help Jedi, jumps in with 'guns blazing' (Figuratively) GRAAAAR! -Dragon Cild and Kageka stare as if Haku is insane- What do you expect from an eccentric author? Sanity? And yeah, about your question, it was also funny what I could plan for it, so that's also a reason.

**Arkana's Dark Magician Girl (ch. 7)** I kinda zone out when Yami's talking, I just get lost in that Sezzy voice of his... -sighs dreamily- Though Tea grates my nerves. I've been known to throw things at the TV when she starts speaking, but either they've been soft or I've missed. The melodrama in Yu-Gi-Oh really gets to you after awhile. And yami with his shirt off? -sighs dreamily again-

**Teena M. (ch. 4)** Oooch. Someone read the controversial chapter... I hate it when that happens and someone doesn't like it... But hey! If it's wrong, it's wrong. It's only a crappy self help guide anyways, right?

**Ceribi Motou (ch. 8):**

Y. Haku: Haku like Naseem? -Waves as BoB the blue eyes white dragon flies over head, leans down and pets Mittens and Experiment 28 on the head, greets Kosharahk, LiB and FLiB and then turns back.- And some of them are on Vacation today as well. Like Naserei, Hubbert and Darky... She's very much split personalitied...

Haku: Shut up Kohaku! Anyways, Looks like The pharaoh's lost his touch? What about Seto's "I went through this last time when your friend Bakura couldn't take it like a man." My god, close your eyes and listen to that show. Just listen, There's soooo much innuendo.

**Tramontana Keeper (ch. 8**) Yush. Original plotlines are good. But sometimes I don't think people realise they're writing Cliché fics... I mean, my first fic was as cliché as they come, and I'd never read fanfiction before in my life. (How sad IS that?)

**YamiClara (ch. 8)** -stares, then stares some more- Is there any way to get her to stop laughing?

**Bunny Meatball/Odango Usagi (ch. 8)** Acutally, I think they would. And that's really disturbing. (I reckon that they'd probably have the balls (no pun intended) to actually participate in the making of said porno...)

**yokai the tiger demond (ch. 8)** Hmmm, do I sense another Inuyasha fan nearby? I think I do...

Y. Haku: Oh crap.

Haku: SHUSH! -bonks him in traditional Haku style- Some people tend not to like script stories, because they have little to no description. I myself don't mind them. (Probably because my fics have so much script in the A/n...) But some people prefer things with descriptions so that they have more of an idea of what's going on.

--------

Haku: Before we sign it off for today, I just want to give a HUGE thank you to EVERYONE who has reviewed so far.

**THANKS FOR OVER 100 REVIEWS! -super, ultra, hyper, mega, flying-tackle-glomp of death**™-

Haku: Now, helpo me add to that total, READ AND REVIEW!


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